InsaneJournal

The Wiener Guy - part one
Title: The Wiener Guy
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: R
Pairing: Chuck/Casey
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck
Summary: What if Chuck was gay? Sarah couldn't pretend to be his girlfriend because... well he's gay. What to do? Hmmm. That's a toughie.



thanks to queen_lothiriel for icon.

............................................................................................

Chuck was sitting at the fountain, completely and utterly depressed. Every year, Ellie would insist on throwing him a big birthday party in the vain hope that she could find him a girlfriend. Everyone was gone now. It was just him, Ellie, Awesome and Morgan that was left. Those three were thoroughly drunk. Well, Awesome and Morgan were. He and Ellie very rarely got thoroughly drunk, but that was mostly because of their Dad. But enough said about that the better.

He looked up as Ellie came over with another beer, “Thanks for the party,” he said, “Your seven layer dip, tasted like eight.”

“Chuck can I tell you something?” Ellie asked as she sat down next to him.

“It was eight layer?” he joked.

“Even though we may ask, no woman really wants to hear about an ex girlfriend,” she told him, “It’s depressing. Stanford was five years ago okay. You need to move on.”

Chuck sighed, “Well it was either that or the truth,” he said more to himself, but she heard him anyway.

“What do you mean?”

He looked over his shoulder at her. It was now or never, “I’m gay,” he said as he placed his beer down on the fountain and stood. He climbed into his room through the Morgan door and slammed the window shut.

Ellie stared after him in shock. I mean, she had always had her suspicions, but then he had never mentioned guys before so she just figured it was the nerd in him that made him kind of flaky, “Did you know about this?” she asked when she felt Morgan sit down next to her.

“Know about what?” he asked.

“Chuck. Being gay?”

“He finally told you huh?” he asked with a smile, “Yeah I’ve always known.”

“But what about Jill?” she asked.

“I guess he was just going through a phase. But he’s liked guys since high school. You remember his obsession with Han Solo?” he asked with waggling eyebrows.

Ellie made a disgusted face at him before going to find Devon. Morgan just smiled, happy that his friend had finally got up the guts to tell his sister the truth. She would probably be angry at him for a while for keeping it a secret, but it would be fine. She cared about him too much to stay angry. That Morgan was sure of. Standing he saw that the window was shut, so he made his way through the house where he found Chuck half heartedly playing Halo 3.

Sighing he pulled up a chair and took the controller off of him, taking over and frankly, saving his ass, “Cheer up. It’s not like she’s going to stop caring about you. You’re her little bro... woah, there’s a blast from the past.”

“What?” Chuck asked. He hadn’t really been paying attention to much of what Morgan was saying, the realisation that he’d just came out finally sinking in.

“You got an email from Bryce Larkin. Bryce remembered your birthday.”

Frowning Chuck got up and walked over to his computer. Sure enough, there was an email from Bryce, “That’s weird. I haven’t heard from him in years. How did he even get my new email address?”

“Don’t look at me,” Morgan said with a shrug, “You gonna open it?”

“Might as well,” Chuck said. Even though he tried not to, he smiled to himself when he saw the familiar writing ‘The Terrible Troll raises his sword’

Morgan of course was confused, so he gave him a quick explanation before more or less telling him to get out. If Bryce was protecting this email with a password, then there must be something private in there and as much as he hated the guy, the something private might be something to do with him, and so he would open it without Morgan hovering over his shoulder.

However, he didn’t quite expect the contents of the email to be all of the CIA and NSA top secrets, transformed into a subconscious friendly download package. No, he hadn’t expected that at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

To say he was a bit surprised to see Sarah Walker standing there in a green Buy More shirt would be an understatement. Okay, so she was going to stick around for a bit until they got this mess sorted out. That was fine. And then there was Casey who was posing as a customer at the moment, apparently he had a plan that he would no doubt inform him about later.

Right now though, they were sitting in John’s apartment going over the so called cover story.

“I have a question,” Chuck said raising his hand.

“What?” Casey asked.

“How did you manage to get your hands on the apartment next door to mine?” he asked, “I mean, what happened to Mrs Yates? She was nice old lady. If you hurt her...”

“Relax,” Casey said, “We managed to persuade her to move to her daughter’s in Texas.”

“Persuade her?”

“Look, that doesn’t matter,” Sarah said, “What does matter is our cover story. Now. Casey’s managed to get a job at the Wienerlicious. He’ll be starting tomorrow.”

“Oh okay... does that mean I can get free hotdogs?”

“Sure, whatever,” Sarah said, fast losing her patience, “Also, we’ve decided that I’m going to pose as your girlfriend. That way, no one will suspect anything if we disappear somewhere.”

“Uh, that might be a problem,” Chuck pointed out.

“What kind of problem?” Casey asked, “We checked you out. You don’t have a girlfriend already... unless you got her hidden under your bed.”

Chuck laughed, “Uh, no. No secrets girlfriends. It’s just... I’m gay. I’ve only been out a couple of days, and so it would be very confusing for all concerned if I was to come home with a girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Sarah and Casey said together before looking at each other.

“Is that why you wouldn’t go on a date with me then?” Sarah asked.

“That’s why,” Chuck nodded, “I hope I didn’t make you feel like you were losing your touch.”

Casey snorted at that, getting Sarah’s attention, “Well you could always...” she started.

“Nuh uh. No way,” Casey said.

Sarah sighed, “Perhaps we should discuss this with the Director and General Beckham?”

Casey grunted but followed her into the other room, “You stay here,” he said to Chuck before slamming the kitchen door shut.

Chuck sighed and sat back against the sofa, looking about the apartment properly for the first time since he’d been man handled by Casey through the door. Sure the guy had only been here a day, but he seemed to have settled in well. The walls were already adorned with weapons, there were three computers in all set up on the rather large desk that was against the wall behind him and in front of him, on the coffee table was a rather well looked after bonsai tree. Intrigued he sat forward to have a closer look.

“Don’t even think about it Bartowski,” Casey hissed making him jump back.

“Now, now Casey. Is that anyway for you to talk to your boyfriend?” Sarah asked with a grin.

Casey grumbled, “He’s not my boyfriend,” he said.

“Yet,” Sarah corrected him.

“Excuse me,” Chuck interrupted, “But what is going on?”

Sarah smiled and sat down on the arm of the sofa whilst Casey settled himself on the chair at his desk, “You are going to go over to the Wienerlicious tomorrow during lunch and ask Casey out on a date.”

“I’m going to what?” Chuck asked in surprise, “I’m going to ask Casey out? On a date?”

“And just what is wrong with asking me out?” Casey asked.

“Nothing,” Chuck quickly replied, “I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful boyfriend.”

“Damn right I will.”

“Boys,” Sarah interrupted, “If we could get back to business,” both Chuck and Casey turned to her to let her know that she had their full attention, “After going out a couple of times, you can start telling people he’s your boyfriend.”

“And what happens if I meet someone I actually would like a relationship with?” Chuck asked, “I mean, a man has needs after all.”

“If it’s just about needs, there’s no problem with one night stands. So long as you let us know where you’re going and who with. However, actual boyfriends are out of the question for the time being,” Casey told him.

Chuck sighed, he had thought as much, “Right fine. Can I go now?” he asked, “Ellie and The Captain will be wondering where I am.”

“I suppose we’re done here. Anything else you need to know we can discuss tomorrow,” Sarah said.

Chuck stood, “Okay, well good night then,” he said as he quickly let himself out. He took a few minutes before he went inside again. He couldn’t quite believe that this was all happening. Not to mention John Casey was going to be his pretend boyfriend. He wasn’t even his type. Now Daniel Craig, he was his type, but then he was James Bond. Perhaps it was just as well no one knew his type then. Taking a deep breath he let himself into the apartment where Ellie and Awesome were curled up together on the sofa watching ER and laughing at the inaccuracies of it all.

“Hey Chuck. Where’ve you been?” Ellie asked.

“Oh, I was just talking to our new neighbour,” he said as he hung up his jacket.

“We’ve got a new neighbour?”

“Yeah, apparently Mrs Yates has moved down to Texas.”

“I had wondered why I hadn’t seen her this morning,” Ellie said, “So what’s this neighbour like then?”

“Um, nice. He’s kind of big. You know, well built.”

“A he?” Ellie shrieked, “Does he live on his own or is there a wife, girlfriend... boyfriend?”

Chuck rolled his eyes, “As far as I can see, he’s on his own. But who knows he might be seeing someone. I didn’t exactly grill him on the subject.”

“Does he have a nice butt?”

“I’m going to bed,” Chuck said as he pushed himself off the door and headed to his room. For the past two days, Ellie had been trying to draw him into conversations about men and their anatomy. And frankly, it was rather disturbing. As he walked down the hall he could hear Devon saying something about Chuck finally getting some and it being awesome.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, when lunch time rolled around Chuck offered to go over to the wienerlicious. His treat. Sarah immediately took him up on his offer and so Morgan and Anna followed suit. Taking their orders he headed across the parking lot and into the so called restaurant where he found a group of giggling girls, swooning over Casey. Why, he wasn’t too sure as he looked rather ridiculous in the red waistcoat, white shirt and bow tie. But hey, who knew how kids worked these days.

“Wilkommen,” Casey smiled, daring Chuck to comment on his uniform, “How can I help you?”

Chuck smiled back at him, “Ah, yeah I have a list here,” he said as he pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over to Casey. There were quite a few other customers sitting around (including Jeff and Lester) as well as the manager who was just in the back going over the stock, so they would need to keep up the act, “You’re my neighbour right?” Chuck asked, “You just moved here?”

“Oh yeah,” Casey said, “I thought I recognised you. You work at the Buy More?”

Chuck nodded, “Yeah. I work for the nerd herd. You ever have any electrical equipment needing fixed, just stop on by... or you know, knock on my window.”

Casey raised an eyebrow slightly at Chuck’s attempts at flirting. God he was such a nerd.

“I’ll do that,” Casey said, “Knock on your window that is.”

Chuck smiled at him as he watched him make up his order, “So um, I was wondering... if you’re not doing anything tonight if you wanted to go see a movie or something?”

Casey placed his finished order on the counter and looked down at him, “What, like a date?”

“Yeah, like a date,” Chuck nodded, aware that Jeff had just fallen off his seat at hearing Chuck ask out a guy.

“I’d like that,” Casey nodded.

Chuck grinned and handed Casey his money, “Okay. I’ll be round at say, eight?”

“See you then,” Casey said with a nod, his own grin in place.

Mission accomplished, Chuck grabbed his order and headed back to Buy More. For some reason he felt a skip in his step. Perhaps it was having completed his first undercover task successfully and on his own. Okay, sure Casey had to say yes, but having to act like that in front of everyone else wasn’t easy. He had felt like he was going to faint a couple of times.

“What’s got you so happy?” Morgan asked when Chuck re-entered the break room.

“I just got myself a date,” he said as he flopped down onto the sofa.

“Anyone we know?” Anna asked.

“Don’t think so. New guy over at the wienerlicious.”

Sarah smiled at him, happy to see that he wasn’t finding this as difficult as she thought he would. She just hoped he managed to keep his feelings in check. It wouldn’t do to have him falling for Casey of all people now would it?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Chuck was sure that Ellie’s squealing would have all the neighbourhood dogs running their way it was so high pitched.

“It’s just one date,” Chuck said, “Don’t get so excited.”

“I can’t help it,” she said as she helped him pick out a nice shirt, “I mean, you haven’t been out on a date in forever. It’s exciting.”

“Just don’t get your hopes up. I don’t really know where this is going to go if anywhere. I mean, he’s a bit older than me so we might not have much in common.”

“How much older?”

Chuck shrugged, “About ten years, give or take.”

Ellie studied him, “But he’s nice though right? You like him enough, or else you wouldn’t be going out on a date with him.”

“Yes, I like him,” Chuck said with a sigh, “Now, red or blue?”

When Chuck left the apartment and walked across the courtyard towards Casey’s door, he was well aware of Ellie, Devon and Morgan watching him from the living room window. Trying his best to ignore them he knocked on Casey’s door.

Casey was wearing a navy shirt, similar to the blue one Chuck very nearly chose and so he was happy that Ellie had convinced him to wear the red. Casey looked much better in the blue than he would have.

“Hey,” Chuck said, “So I’m here.”

Casey smiled, “Your family watching?” he asked.

“More than likely,” chuck nodded.

“Give me a sec,” Casey said as he disappeared from his door, leaving it open. He came back a couple of seconds later with his keys, phone and wallet. Shoving them all into his pockets, he let Chuck lead the way to the car.

“Right, so where are we going?” Chuck asked, “Cause I take it we’re not actually going to go on a real date.”

“Of course we are,” Casey said, “At least this time. We’ll need to have proper dates every now and again or else you’re going to run out of things to tell your sister.”

“Oh, so movie then?” Chuck asked as he started the engine.

Casey nodded, “I got us a couple of tickets for The Bourne Ultimatum.”

“The Bourne Ultimatum?” Chuck asked as he felt his jaw drop open.

“Yeah. I could do with a laugh,” Casey said, “Those movies are always funny as hell.”

Chuck smiled, “I don’t know. I kind of like them. Of course Bond is the ultimate spy...”

“Just wait a few weeks. Being a spy isn’t anything like it is in the movies,” Casey interrupted.

When they got to the movie theatre Casey unceremoniously informed Chuck that he was buying the popcorn since he had bought the tickets.

“You want a hot dog?” Chuck asked him as he got himself some nachos.

“God no. If I have to look at another wiener I’ll end up poking my eyes out.”

“You’ve only been working there a day,” Chuck pointed out.

“And that’s a day I’ll never get back,” Casey told him as he added a large soda to his order of popcorn.

Chuck knew Casey wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, but if it wasn’t for him neither Casey nor Sarah would be wasting their time at the Wienerlicious or the Buy More. They would be off doing more exciting things, not going on pretend dates with him.

“You better not be a talker,” Casey said as they sat down in their seats.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a nerd,” Chuck said, “You honestly think I would commit sacrilege by talking through a movie?”

Casey studied him for a moment, “Point taken,” he nodded, “Popcorn?”

“Sure,” Chuck said grabbing a handful. He offered some nachos to Casey but apparently the thought of processed cheese made his stomach turn.

After the movie Chuck suggested that they maybe go out to a bar for a drink, just for something else for them to do. But Casey pointed out that Chuck was driving so it was maybe a better idea just to head back to his. Chuck agreed and drove them back, both of them bickering about the movie the entire way.

“You’re wrong. Out of all of them that one was the worst,” Casey said, “I mean, there was so much in it that just wasn’t explained. Like Hirsch. They didn’t explain how he came back from the dead.”

“And I suppose if they had, that would make it all okay then?”

“Course it would. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve known someone who was supposed to be dead to actually turn up alive.”

Chuck glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, “Really? That kind of thing really happens?”

Casey shrugged, “Sometimes the only way to save yourself is to die,” he said, “You might want to remember that.”

Chuck frowned, not sure he wanted to know what that meant. He decided to let it go just now anyway.

Soon they had pulled up outside the apartment block and were headed through the gate into the court yard.

“You should maybe come in for a bit,” Casey said, “Give that lot something to talk about.”

Chuck whipped his head round just in time to see his sister’s curtains being pulled shut. He rolled his eyes and turned back to Casey, “Okay, I’ll come in for a while. You can make me a coffee.”

Casey let them in to the apartment, turning on the lights as he went, “You want something stronger? A whiskey maybe?”

“Oh, no. Thanks. Coffee is fine.”

“Suit yourself,” Casey shrugged as he went into the kitchen. Chuck decided to follow him.

“We’re not actually going to have sex are we?”

Casey, who had his head in the fridge, stood up straight and looked over his shoulder at him, “Why? Am I not physically appealing enough for you?”

“No it’s not that.”

“So you do find me physically appealing?” Casey grinned.

“Casey. Will you just be serious for one minute please.”

Casey sighed, “We will not be having sex with each other tonight or any other night. This relationship isn’t real, therefore there is no need for sex. We do not need to consummate our relationship. Got it?”

Chuck nodded, “Got it.”

“Good, now drink your coffee,” he said as he handed him a plain white mug. Of course he wouldn’t have anything on his mugs, that would be too personal and would let Chuck know something about him. As far as he was aware, the bonsai tree was the only personal thing in the entire apartment.

“So, can I just ask... are you actually gay? Or is it all an act?”

“Would it matter?” Casey asked as he leaned back against the worktop.

Chuck shrugged, “I suppose not. I guess I was just curious.”

Casey watched him for a few seconds. He knew he shouldn’t say anything, it could compromise his position, but then Walker knew the truth and she would no doubt say something about it at some point.

“Yes I’m gay,” he said, “It doesn’t really make a difference though. This is still an act, just like it would have been had you been straight and had to pretend to go out with Walker.”

“Yeah, I get it okay. You don’t need to keep going on about it. It’s all pretend. Jeez.”

“I just don’t want there to be any confusion,” Casey said.

“Why would there be any confusion?” Chuck asked, “Unless you’ve experienced confusion before? That this sort of thing has happened before?”

“You’re the one with access to my file,” Casey said, “You should really be able to answer your own questions.”

“It doesn’t really work like that. I can’t just access any file at will...”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Flashes.”

Chuck sighed, “I should go,” he said before downing the last of his coffee, “Thanks,” he said as he handed his mug back to Casey.

He walked back through the living room to the front door and was just about to open it when Casey caught him.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

But Casey didn’t answer him. Instead he unbuttoned a couple of his shirt buttons, messed up his hair even more and then kissed him hard, leaving a slight stubble rash around his mouth.

“Okay, now you can go,” Casey said as he stood back and opened the front door.

“Um, okay,” Chuck nodded dumbly, “No confusion at all,” he said as he left and headed back to his own apartment.

TBC